Q: Can I borrow the car Dad?
A: Nope!
Q: Does my butt look big in these jeans?
A: What you want to hear; Not at all, you look mighty fine babe
The truth; When I look at you, I keep hearing reverse beepers and seeing Wide Load signs.
Q: YOU; God what is the meaning of life?
A: GOD; Did you checkout my FaceBook page?
Q: What is the phobia of chainsaws called?
A: Common sense.
Q: What two things can you never eat for breakfast?
A: Lunch and Dinner.
Q: What color is a mirror?
Q: If you enjoy wasting time, is that time really wasted?
Q: What does procrastination mean?
A: I will tell you later.
Q: How big is the Specific Ocean?
A: Can you be more Pacific?
Q: Why are babies so ugly when they are born?
A: How about you stay underwater for 9 – 10 months then squeeze yourself through a hole the size of a golf ball and get slapped on the arse at the end and see how you look.
Q: Does Vodka really kill Bees and Wasps?
A: Yes, over time, it will destroy their liver but it’s the disruption to their family and home life that really takes a toll.
Q: What is worse, Ignorance or Apathy?
A: I don’t know and I don’t care.
Q: What % of water is celery?
A: Water is zero % celery.
Q: How do I turn off caps lock?
A: I HAVE THE SAME QUESTION.